


Dancing In The Dark (with you between my arms)

by parker_stories



Series: The secrets of Peter Parker [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter and Nat are spiders for life, Poor Peter Parker, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Rated teen for swearing, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, but it's okay they made up, first fic, not romantic - Freeform, vaguely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22017784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parker_stories/pseuds/parker_stories
Summary: "I don't... I don't remember much about them, or at least I don't remember much good stuff about them" Tony's gaze, once again, snapped up at Peter, a confused look on his face formed as he heard what Peter said."what do you mean 'not remembering much good stuff'?"or: Peter didn't remember much from the time his parents where alive. but some memories he still has, both from when he woke up after the crash, and other's that he gained over time, one being a trait he tried desperately to avoid, but life can't seem to stop sitting on you can it?
Relationships: Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: The secrets of Peter Parker [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584796
Comments: 6
Kudos: 395





	Dancing In The Dark (with you between my arms)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I've always been a sucker for 'Peter Parker and the avengers' fics, so I tried making a one. Just so you know English isn't my "main" language so sorry for weird sentence cuts or whatever, but I hope it's readable anyway.   
> I'm also not entirely sure what the origin story of the death of Peter's Parents is, or witch age he was in when they died, so I decided to create my own. And in case wondered, Peter was around 7 years old when his Parents died, and 15 when this story plays out.   
> Anyways, I hope you like this, it's not the longest fic ever and I kinda just wrote till I felt satisfied enough, so sorry if it feels a bit bland. But that's all from me, enjoy :)

The last thing Peter expected to see when he arrived at the living room in the penthouse of the Avengers tower, was nearly all of the avengers decorating, (or at least trying to decorate), a huge goddamn Christmas tree.

_but life can't seem to stop surprising you huh?_

Peter had been living at the tower in nearly a month since his aunt was on a 6 month business trip around america. Ever since the rouge Avengers had been pardoned, they had returned back to the re-bought tower to try to patch things up. Tony and Steve had forgiven each other, realizing that both of their actions hadn't been completely fair, but luckily, they forgave each other and moved on. So right now, Tony, Steve, Bucky, Clint and Sam was decorating a 19 feet tall Christmas tree,

_And Peter had no idea that someone could suck so much at it_

"wow, earth's mightiest heroes, decorating a Christmas tree, I'm surprised it hasn't burned down yet" Peter said dryly, the four heroes except Tony turned to look at the youngest, an offensive look on their faces. Peter was trying his best not to burst out laughing. 

"oh Hi to you to Pete, glad to know you brought your Christmas spirit with you" Tony said not looking up from where he was placing another decoration on the tree. Peter rolled his eyes as they wandered over the most ugliest (he didn't even know if it could count as a tree) he has ever seen. Decorations was scattered over the whole tree, glitter was thrown on carelessly making big chunks of silver-glancing festoons on the tree, some places where completely empty while others was filled with colorful decorations, some being formed as Iron Man or as the Cap shield. There where also Some Spider man decorations here and there, but it was really hard to feel excitement when they where a part of something that should have been in the garbage can yesterday. Seriously, the tree was a mess!

"I always bring my Christmas spirit with me... that though" peter gestured to the tree " is what's ruining it" Clint made an offended noise.

"It's not that bad!"

"Clint, no offence, but it looks like a rat made it and then destroyed it" Rhodey said, appearing behind Peter's shoulder.

"Told ya" 

"And here I thought you two where on our side!" Tony put a hand over his heart giving an offended squeal. Peter rolled his eyes again, giving the tree another look, god, it looked horrible, it was almost like- wait-

" Has anyone of you even decorated a Christmas tree before?" There was a beat of silence, before a choir of 'NO' came out the heroes, _of course they hadn't_ , Peter put his head in his hands as Rhodey gave away a tired sigh. 

"oh Stop looking like that and get your ass up here and help!" Bucky said from behind the tree, the rest of the five heroes joining him in his whine.

"Nope, Na ah, I am not getting in to this, you're on your own here" Peter threw his hands up backing away a little, getting a betrayed look from Tony.

"C'mon we need all the help we can get here! Rodhey!?" 

"Sorry Tones, I agree with the kid" Rhodey put his hand up syncing a High five with Peter, both crossing their arms afterwards making all five of the literal man child's give away a ' _hmph'_. Peter rolled his eyes a third time before giving up and turning to the couch area where Nat was seated, the Nutcracker playing on the screen. 

"hello little spider, how was school?" Natasha looked up at Peter from where she was sitting at the sofa holding a cup of hot chocolate. 

"As good as a small building full of bored and tired teenagers trying their very best not to die right there on the spot while listening to monotone teachers could get" Peter sighed as he fell into the couch. "I swear to god, school is going to be the death of me" Natasha shot him a sympathetic smile in return before taking another sip of her chocolate.

They both fell into an comfortable silence as they watched the dancers fly across the stage. Well, Nat did, Peter was doing his best looking at anywhere but the very offending and passionate dancers, the annoyingly wonderful music travelling through the speakers as the hundreds of dancers are making their through the stage. Beautiful dressed as they all dances in sync creating a spectacular well choreographed performance.

_'ugh'_

He didn't really now why he felt so intimidated by watching just a normal ballet performance. Yeah OK, that was a lie. He did know why, but he tried really hard not to think about it. About how every time he heard that classical piece of music his mind got sent straight back to a time he shouldn't even remember. How every time those dancers entered the stage all he could think about was gentle hands leading him through every steps, the face of a women he only really remember from pictures, and a calming voice praising him every time he did a step right.

He remember those days, when his life hadn't been affected by constant loss and grief. Those days when his mother had turned on the TV, giving away a shout of glee when her favorite ballet performance was playing. How she had closed her eyes for a moment before standing up and copy the dancers movements. When she had taken his hand and teaching him to do the same thing. How every Christmas, him and his mother would dance along to the melody, with his father looking at them with fond eyes as he gave away an applause when they where done. How they both would tackle him with tickles and telling him how proud they where. He would always try to push himself away from them as he giggled feeling embarrassed.

_He realized now he would probably do the opposite these days_

Peter didn't remember a lot about his parents, every time he tried to think about them, all that came up was the horrible image of their pale and awfully un-moving bodies. The agonizing pain in his side as he tried screaming for his parents, but all that came out was coughs and choking sobs. The feeling of something pining him down while trying desperately to move. Lying there for what felt like hours, crying and waiting for someone to find him, for his parents to wake up and take the pain away, but all he was greeted with was darkness and then waking up in an unknown room with his aunt and uncle at his side, both with teared-stained faces as they explained that mom and dad wasn't around anymore. That they wouldn't come through that door, kiss his cheek and hug him, telling him everything was going to be OK. 

He didn't remember much afterwards, only to be guided in to a blank room where he would hide most of the day. His uncle forcing him out of the room to eat something only to go right back after.

Of course, life became better, time healed and support from his aunt and uncle made it better. New demons made old memories fade, and what once used to be to painful to even think about, could breath right in his face and stare into his eyes and he wouldn't even give it a second thought.

But for some reason, even with all of that, there where still stuff that he couldn't face. Stuff that he could lay and think about for hours at night only to be reminded that none of it where true. Stuff that kept reminding him that _it wasn't suppose to end this way._

_dancing was one of them_

So, he kept himself as far away from it as possible. At first he hadn't, his therapist had asked if he had any traits _'eter-_ , he had simply answered ballet and was told to do exactly that. _'eter!-_ It had helped at first, but the more he did it, the more he got reminded of the _"happy times"_ as he liked to call it. So, he stopped. Packed it away in a little box in his head and kept it there, _'eter-_ the only people ever knowing it existed being his aunt and uncle. 

"Peter!"

Peter snapped his head to the person who had shouted his name, and was met with one very concerned looking Tony Stark, _oh god, how long had he tried to get his attention!?_

"you alright bud?"

Peter opened his mouth a few times only managing out a few choking noises before he felt a wet stickiness on his cheeks. _Oh god he'd been crying!_ Peter spluttered for a moment realizing everyone was looking at him.

"I-I-I'm gonna go for a-a walk" Peter leapt up from the couch and went past Tony before he could say anything else, quickly making his way to the elevator only hearing Tony shouting after him before the doors closed. 

_________________________________

Tony was, to say the least, confused. He had gone to get another box of way to many blinking and flashing lights that would probably give him a migraine, leaving four literal idiots to keep making the tree while trying not to burn it down in the process. 

_He was getting way to old for this_

He'd seen the kid go to the couch and probably starting a conversation with Nat. If they hadn't clicked in the literal first month they met, then he didn't know what did. It was weird, seeing Natasha so relaxed, maybe It was because they shared the same theme, or it was just the overall _Peter-ness_ that made them so close. 

_Probably both_

The kid was good at that, making people break out of their shell and showing a totally new side of them. He was simply just nice, always listening and taking interest in conversations, never cutting someone of when they're talking and always keeping a promise. He could shine like million burning suns all at ones and look at everything with such fondness, that Tony sometimes even forgot what kind of darkness was laying underneath it.

He didn't show it often, but once he did, it would gush over him like a waterfall breaking free. He would start looking at every little corner of a room like it was going to attack him, his shoulders tense and movement straight as he constantly looked behind his back, always afraid of something emerging from the shadows and hurt him. Other times Peter would almost be the exact opposite, it would almost be like the kid would disconnect himself from the world, only wearing a blank face and going around with dragged movements, the only thing that's left being a shell of the once bright-eyed Peter.

 _Right now it was almost like he was a combination of_ _both_

Tony had made his way to the couch area once he had put down the box to see what they where watching. _'the nutcracker'_ Tony recognized from way to many boring nights in hotel's needing to stay sober, where tinkering away with lab equipment's wasn't an option. He knew why Nat watched it, but as he looked at the couch, it wasn't just her that was having her head in the TV. The kid to was watching it like his life depended on it. He was clutching his phone as he looked at the TV with wide eyes, his eyebrows knit together with his mouth in a thin line, sometimes his eyebrows would lift slightly like he remembered something, then returning back to normal again. It was, how do say it? It was freaking Tony out. So, before the kid could get more lost in his own head Tony decided to take him back.

"I didn't know you liked the nutcracker kid" Tony joked, turning his gaze to Peter waiting for him to reply, but Peter just kept silently stare at the TV not looking like he had heard the question. Natasha looked up from where she was sitting, frowning when she was met with the same sorrowful eyes that Tony was. Tony tried snapping his fingers in front of the kid, confusion turning to concerned when he didn't react. 

"Pete?" Tony tried, getting closer to Peter.

"Peter?" Tony saw a few tears slipping down the spiderling's cheek, his breath started catching up when Tony realized the kid was getting dangerously close to a panic attack. 

_fuck_

"Peter? Pete! Hey, c'mon kid, wake up! Peter!" Tony was shaking the kids shoulders roughly, still not getting a response, by now all of the avengers had their eyes on their youngest member, some stepping closer to the couch watching as the new found father figure was trying to stabilize his pseudo son. Tony repeated his name over and over shaking him until he burst out a last

"PETER!" 

The kids head snapped up at Tony, terrified young eyes meeting his as tears was slowly drying on the spiderling's cheeks. Tony furrowed his eyebrows more as Peter started to come back, His eyes widening more when he realized where he was.

"you alright bud?" Tony saw Peter opening and closing his mouth a couple of times only making out a few noises. But when Tony thought he wasn't going any further than that, Peter suddenly blurted out

"I-I-I'm gonna go for a-a walk" And before he knew it, the kid was rushing to the elevator, not looking back as Tony was shouting and running after him.

when the elevator doors closed Tony halted in his steps, still trying to make out what the fuck just happened. He turned around to look at the other avengers who was wearing the same confused expression as he did. Clint was the one to break the silence.

"okay... What _just_ happened?" everyone's gaze turned to Tony, obviously waiting for an explanation. 

"I don't know... I just said his name a couple of times, I don't understand why that would make him just run like that" Tony sighed running hand down his face, not noticing the sad look's he was given. 

"Do you know what triggered him?" Natasha glanced at the TV.

"probably what you were watching. But I don't understand why that would lead to the sudden freak-out." Tony threw his hands up as he walked over to the sofa and stood by it, closely investigating the show. Finding nothing, he turned his head upwards to the ceiling 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, is Pete still in the building?" 

_'Mr Parker left the tower for approaching 3 minutes ago boss'_

Tony frowned, wondering if he should go after the kid or not. Something told him to stay out of it, that a person who suddenly would just leave his own house with tears in his eyes probably doesn't want to be disturbed. But, this was Peter, and lord knows the kid doesn't cope with traumatic stuff that good. Not that anyone did, but i could take a hell of a time for Peter to realize when he needed help. 

_So, Tony decided to follow_

He mumbled a confirmation that he was going after the kid before he sprinted to the balcony while calling a suit. Seconds later, he was surrounded by a vibranium made armor and took of into the sky scanning for Peter. His vision zoomed in on a sprinting figure running down the streets, bumping in to people every so often making them scream not so friendly words after him.

Tony followed it, not wanting to interrupt just yet to see where the figure now known as Peter was heading. The kid started running faster before he abruptly stopped at a red light. (okay that's good, at least that means the kid has _some_ kind of self control over his anxiety-rigged body). Suddenly the lights turned green and the spiderling was running again. Tony followed suit before the kid suddenly made a quick turn and sprinted down a new street. Now Tony realized where the kid had his goal. A few blocks ahead of him there was a small church with a cemetery that he recognized from late night or early morning visits he and Peter would do, simply because... well... 75% of Peter's whole goddamn family was lying there, and now, Peter was running towards it like his life depended on it. He knew Peter would go there alone sometimes, either to seek out comfort by talking to a bunch of dead people or to just, visit. (Either way, it was sad as hell) 

_God, the kid was in huge need of therapy_

After a few minutes Peter finally came to a stop in front of a gate, the kid's gaze turned towards the entrance before he went in. Tony hovered in the air for a while before landing outside the gate and sending away the suit. He sprinted a little while he made is way through the many gravestones before he finally spotted the familiar figure, the kid was standing in front of his family's gravestone's with his hands in his pockets. Tony realized just now the kid was only wearing a dark blue sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and yet, he didn't seem to care. Tony walked slowly towards the kid, who made no movement of knowing he was being watched, but Tony figured he had already sensed him miles back. He stopped when he was next to the kid, wordlessly taking of his suit jacket he was wearing and draping it over the spider. Peter was still making no movement, just silently stared at his beloved family while taking small breaths that created white smoke in the air. Tony decided to break the silence.

"Care to tell me why you thought going outside without a jacket was a good idea?, I mean, not that fresh air isn't important but I'm pretty sure your little spidey powers is probably going to give you a hell of a frostbite if you don't go inside once in a while" He hoped the half-hearted sarcasm would brighten the kid's mood, but Peter just stayed quiet, still starring at the gravestones with misty eyes. Tony sighed.

"Pete, please talk to me, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on in that head of yours, and why you just ran outside like that" Tony turned his head to look at Peter, he saw the kid's fist clench and un-clench a couple of times before he let out a ragged breath.

"I... I don't know..." Peter breathed. His hands started tremble as he forced another ragged breath, Tony took one of his hands and steadied it as he waited patiently for Peter to continue. The kid stuttered for a while, a trait Tony recognized from when Peter was nervous or stressed. He guessed Peter was both at the moment. 

"I just got reminded of, something... from when I was, young" Tony turned his head up to look at Peter, the kid was still looking at the stones, a sad frown had formed on his face as he continued

"my... erm... my mom used to watch The Nutcracker with me back when she was... alive" Tears started to form in the kids eyes as he desperately tried to wipe them away with his un-gloved hand

" We would, erm... _she_ would put it on every Christmas and dance along with the dancers, my mom had been taught ballet when she was younger from her parents and wanted to pass the tradition on to me so, she taught me. Every Christmas she would put the channel on and guide me as she danced, I don't know if I was good at it but she would always praise me afterwards and hug me so I guess I wasn't that bad"

A sad smile had formed on his lips as Peter told him about his mother, Tony was to say the least, surprised. Peter wasn't usually so talkative when it came to his parents, nor was he talkative about anything from the time when they were alive, hell, Peter rarely talked anything about his time before Ben had died, only giving out short sentences and slip ups that would usually lead to Peter internally freaking out and quickly change subject of the conversation. The only time Tony ever got anything from Peter was trough tearful sentences in the dead of night after waking up from a particularly bad nightmare and Tony reminding Peter not to bottle up his demons. But now, Peter was spilling stuff to Tony that seemed to have been bottle up for long time. 

"I don't... I don't remember much about them, or at least I don't remember much _good_ stuff about them" Tony's gaze, once again, snapped up at Peter, a confused look on his face formed as he heard what Peter said. 

"what do you mean 'not remembering much good stuff'?" 

"It's not like... It's not that they weren't good it's just... When they died, they weren't the only who was on that plane" Peter explained or, tried to, honestly Tony had no idea what he was talking about. He was obviously talking about the plane his parents died in, why that was important tough, he didn't know.

"keep going" Tony gestured with his hand in a loop motion when Peter didn't continued, he was so close to what was nagging Peter, he just had to keep him explaining. Peter took a deep breath.

"That plane, that would take them home from Australia. My mom had gone on a business trip there, she brought my dad and me to have a vacation after she was done, then, on our way home... the plane started to shake and going downwards, I blacked out after awhile and woke up with something pinning me down, I saw my..." Peter took a deep breath "I saw my parents lay in front of me, their faces pale and bruised... I only remember screaming and begging for them to wake up but, they wouldn't... and somehow, every time I try thinking about them, that, horrible image just pops up in to my head and I can't stop to think of anything else..."

Peter sighed as he tipped his head on Tony's shoulder while Tony absently put an arm around his shoulders "The only other thing that I can remember is the dancing, everything else is just"

Peter hovered his palms over his temples making small circular movements with his hands, then letting them fall to his side afterwards.

"gone".

Tony almost choked on his own breath as he squeezed Peter closer in to himself. Okay, he was not ready for that. He had no idea Peter had been on the plane, while also surviving in the process, seriously, how was the boy still alive?. He could only imaging how peter had been feeling, stuck in the same place while not being able to move, seeing his dead parents lay in front of him, un-moving and lifeless, blood running down their faces, begging them to wake up. He realized now that Peter had told him he did exactly the same thing with his uncle, dead on the ground with blood pouring out of his stomach while Peter desperately tried to keep him alive.

_and Tony though his life was hard_

While he sat pitying himself over a bottle of vodka because his best friend's best friend had been forced to kill his Parents decades ago, Peter was probably grieving alone, because life just wouldn't give him a break. Making him watch his dead Parent's and uncle bleed out on the ground. Green eyes piercing into his soul as he dropped him in an ice cold lake almost drowning him. A building falling, fire surrounding him while he saved the man who almost killed him just minutes ago. Peter had been through hell and back, and yet, he kept going. Grabbing on to the few memories he had of a life before everything went down. Helping others when he couldn't help himself, saving them. Stopping people from making bad decisions that Tony knows Peter had thought of himself sometimes. 

He knew Peter had rarely got the help he needed before. He had told Tony he used to lock himself in his room whenever his thoughts became to much, not wanting to burden his aunt and uncle just because he was a victim of basic human emotions. Tony hated that Peter was so afraid, how the kid somehow had convinced himself that no one really cared, that his life had been thrown on them, that people was forced to have him in their lives. It physically hurt to think that Peter thought everything was a play, that no one really cared, that everyone's life would be so much better of without him, even though they wouldn't. Tony couldn't imagine a life without Peter Parker, where bright young eyes wasn't a constant and where a solid mind filled with ideas and dreams didn't shine through the endless rooms of the tower.

He mentally kicked himself for trying to keep a distance between him and Peter, how he hadn't noticed the endless voice messages and text's weren't just the voice of a teen wanting recognition, but a desperate call for acceptance, a voice who screamed "am I enough to be kept on earth!?" and Tony hadn't realized it. He heard it now, whenever he listened, he could hear how Peter got quieter and quieter the more his messages got ignored, how he would bring up more about when people had thanked him, giving him a gift or buying him something. While some people would see that as arrogant, an Icarus flying to close to the sun, Tony knew the kid was more trying to convince himself rather than convincing Tony. That there were people who needed him, who didn't hung up on him, who didn't ignore him, people who could count on him.

_He had a feeling that was the only thing that kept Peter going back then_

He hated that he had left a kid figuring out all this superhero stuff for himself, only giving him gear and a half-hearted talk about him staying in the _'grey-zone' ,_ without so much as a tutorial on how to actually _stay_ in the so called _'_ _grey-zone'_. He made a promise with himself to never turn his back on the kid again, to actually be there for him, guide him. 

_And now he had his chance_

"They'd be proud of you Pete" Tony turned to look at the stones, a silent thank you passed between him and the Parker's "I know they would"

"You don't" Tony turned his head to Peter again, the kid still didn't make eye contact, only wearing an emotionless expression as he stared.

"Yes I do, you wanna know how?" The kid didn't answer, just kept staring. Tony sighed "Peter look at me" Tony took two fingers and used them to tip peter's head up, making him look directly at him "I know that because you're Peter Parker, a person who just wants to do the right thing, and no matter how many times life pushes you down you always found a way up, You fight, you fall and you never once do it because of fame or glory but simply because you just want to do the right thing, even though it's dangerous and you're probably gonna give me a heart attack you still fight, I _know_ they would be proud, and if that's not enough to convince you just look at you now, you just made _the_ Tony Stark Poetic, if that's not something you should be proud of then I don't know what is" That at least earned him a wet laugh in respond. Tony grinned and squeezed Peter closer to him, counting it as a victory when he felt the kid melt into his side. The kid put his head on his shoulder, with Tony doing the same as he pressed a kiss to the crown of the kid's head.

"They're proud of you, I _promise_ you, they are" and Tony had never been so sure about something in his entire life.

"I'm sorry I just ran like that" Peter said after a minute of silence. Tony ran a hand up and down Peter's arm squeezing him tighter.

"It's okay, but maybe bring a jacket the next time" Peter smiled a little, but was cut short as a shiver ran through the kid, an obvious sign that they should start to head home. 

"C'mon kiddo, let's head home before you become an icicle" Tony motioned with his head to gate, Peter turned his gaze towards it before they started walking. Tony kept an arm around the spiderling's shoulder the whole time, ignoring all the looks that was sent their way from nosy people who didn't understand why Tony Stark was holding on to a kid like it was his long lost son. And when Tony came to think of it, maybe he was in some way, maybe Peter had been the spark in his life that he always had been looking for, maybe Peter was the reason till why Tony was still here, even if it meant sitting up for hours worrying about a superhero in spandex, only breathing out when the kid was home safe and sound. But if the only reason till why Tony Stark was still on earth was because of a certain Spider-kid needed guidance, then that would be enough. 

_And if Peter trusted him enough to let Tony have an arm around his shoulders, guide him, and keep him safe. Then Tony would have enough in his life to keep going._

_It would always be enough._

**Author's Note:**

> And that was it! I really hope you liked this one, Like I said, english isn't my main language but Iv'e studied it enough to at least make some kind of sense.   
> I'm thinking of making a series where Tony founds out more about Peter's past, like Skip Westcott, or the night when his uncle died or something. I don't know, something like that. Anyways thanks for reading and I hope you didn't suffer to much while you read this.  
> criticism is appreciated. Good Bye! :)


End file.
